Office by Alex Penny
where i go?
day 12 complete
Today I was feeling the “dip” that has been mentioned numerous times in the habit course. Emotionally down. Not so much about the practice and the course, but in general.
This day-at-a-time stuff is powerful, but its easy to ascribe a bit too much to it. To start looking forward into the future a little obsessively, making all these wild predictions about how much life is going to change now. Back in reality though, its a slow and steady process. Changes come gradually, imperceptibly at times. The newness of the process wears off, and the realization that things haven’t changed all that much comes rushing back. So, as they say, there’s a dip.
Getting home from work, I was ready to give up and get sucked in to TV-land for the night, only just barely dragging myself out for a bike ride before sunset.
I put M83’s new album “Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming” on the headphones. It would be the first time I’d listened to it outside in the world instead of in front of a computer monitor. The sky was turning sunset pink. Cars were hurrying through stops signs, coming home for the weekend. The swelling of the synths pumped my legs harder as I dodged between the rushing cars and headed for the bike path. The song kept building, and a chorus of voices in my ears made it feel like being in one of the 80’s movie we all wished could be real life when we were kids. I broke out of the urban landscape into the wetlands. Pelicans flew with me along the creek as the ocean approached. The orange ball of the sun touched the surface of the water.
There was no more dip.
